Tags
Hotline Miami is one of my all-time favorite games.
Hotline Miami has one of my all-time favorite soundtracks.
Hotline Miami is getting a sequel.
The sequel’s soundtrack had a few songs leaked.
THIS IS ONE OF THEM AND IT PUMPS ME UP.
07 Friday Feb 2014
Posted Pointless Bullshit, Video Games
inTags
Hotline Miami is one of my all-time favorite games.
Hotline Miami has one of my all-time favorite soundtracks.
Hotline Miami is getting a sequel.
The sequel’s soundtrack had a few songs leaked.
THIS IS ONE OF THEM AND IT PUMPS ME UP.
21 Monday Jan 2013
Posted Pointless Bullshit
inSO I’ve decided to make a Tumblr.
You can find it at this link:
This’ll be where I post my artwork and other goofy shit. Enjoy, and tell all your sexy Tumblr-using friends to follow me because that’s what gets me off.
Sincerely,
Mr. MoonGoat
25 Tuesday Dec 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit
in22 Saturday Dec 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit, Video Games
inTags
Fable III, Jax, League of Legends, LoL, Mark of the Ninja, MoonGoat, Nolan North, Pokemon Black 2, Prince of Persia, Stephen Fry, Video Games
Deck the halls with shots of vodka!
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-fuck-off!
I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to this upcoming week. It’s not because I’m the latest earthly manifestation of Ebenezer Scrooge (although that would make a lot of sense) and I’m not even against the idea of “family quality time”, even though the first thing my sister said to me when I walked in the house was “Have you bought Christmas presents yet?” which resulted in me having to tell her that because I’m a poor hapless art student who puts every dime in his pocket towards bills, supplies, rent and other useless shit I haven’t been able to afford any Christmas goodies and then she gives me this look like I’m being selfish. I’d be ashamed if it weren’t coming from someone who’s filled those hole-filled shoes more than once in the past. No, I haven’t been looking forward to this week because I don’t really have a home here besides my adopted city of Richmond, so whenever I’m forced to leave my cave I feel out of place. My dad lives in Alexandria and he’s made no attempts to connect with this apartment, so much so that he still has stuff in boxes. On the flipside, my mother lives in Warrenton in the middle of fucking nowhere. it’s like a museum there, it’s very cold, very clean, I’m not allowed to touch anything, and they have metal detectors. So fuck it, I’m gonna sit here and ignore all this and talk about the games that I’ve brought with me to occupy my time. Some old, some new-ish, maybe some more on the way.
ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckSTAYCALMDONTFAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!
Prince of Persia 2008: I just picked this one up from a Gamestop in Springfield for 3 dollars. Worth a shot, I suppose. That shot missed. Don’t like the characters, definitely don’t like the combat, and I just can’t get used to the platforming controls, which baffles me because The Two Thrones had such a great parkour control system and Assassin’s Creed seems to have perfected the formula. I guess PoP it’s going back into bad habits, so I don’t know how long I’ll last with this one.
Keep your hands off my video game protagonists, Nolan North.
Fable III: I finally decided to finish my file in this game, even though I’ve done it before on a different console in a different house in a different country in a different continent and…well let’s just say I’ve never beaten this game. If you haven’t played this game yet, let me save you the trouble. The game’s second half is a joke. Once you’ve become King or Queen, the gameplay just piddles around for about an hour before dropping you abruptly in some supposedly epic but not really final battle against a spooky boogieman and his pet shadows.Thanks Twilight. Thanks a lot.
In the end, Fable III just wasn’t worth my time or money. Now I’m just stuck killing NPCs and even that’s beginning to get dull because once you’re a monarch, the authorities don’t send guards after you when you’ve done something wrong like murder an entire village and flip off all the orphans. They just give you a stern look and a pathetic comeback along the lines of “You better not do that again, or so help me I’ll send a complaint to the Ki…oh, yeah.” So back off Lionhead Studios and leave game developing to actual game developers. Also, fix your damn maps!
Is Stephen Fry the UK’s equivalent of Nolan North in terms of voice-acting? Because I’m annoyed with both of them now.
Mark of the Ninja: This was strangely satisfying for the 600 Microsoft Points it cost. A well-rounded, equally-balanced and shamelessly fun stealth game about a ninja getting revenge for…well I can’t really be bothered to pay attention to the plot. The real gripe I has with it is that the art direction in the cutscenes is just really out of place. It’s the same issue many people had with Mirror’s Edge in that the exposition and the gameplay just don’t seem to be for the same game, and that’s a big no-no. Also, the developers Klei Entertainment are Canadian and jeez does that show through in the dialogue (since when do Asians have Canadian accents?) Regardless, I recommend Mark of the Ninja. Happy stabbing.
Eem aboot to keel you with muh ninjeh surd!
Pokemon Black 2: Chewed through the main storyline, now I’m focusing on the metagame. I’m annoyed with the fact that the game had to make me beat the Elite Four (No easy task considering the fire pig was the worst starter ever) before giving me access to the Day Care so I could homegrow my own little badasses. But I digress, I’m still addicted to this and will continue to play it through the holidays, or is that too depressing a thought?
“I’m about to unleash my rage!” Yeah, take a shot every time that kid says those exact words.
League of Legends: Up to Summoner Level 9, and I seemed to have found solace in my first IP bought champion, Jax.
Though my last game I was told that I play like rubbish. It’s true, I’m guaranteed to die more than any two players combined in most matches. This might take awhile to get used to.
“MrMoonGoat is Legen…wait for it…DARY!!” Said no LoL game announcer ever.
I still have my copies of NFS Hot Pursuit, Mass Effect 3, Resident Evil 5, Fallout 3 and Skyrim to mess around with, but that’ll be for another time. And hopefully I’ll get Halo 4, Most Wanted and ACIII for Xmas as well. It’ll be a good week for gaming indeed.
Signed,
Mr. MoonGoat
Not even a zombie attack or a threat of nuclear war. Worst apocalypse ever.
On the moon, our Christmas is on July 21st, and we celebrate the coming of Neil Armstrong instead.
28 Sunday Oct 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit, Uncategorized
inWhat a dreary day
I think I’ll write the blog
Never mind fuck this
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
No, no, no, no, no, please no
Yes, no, yes, no, rape
Usually I
Like songs that have some meaning
Pitt-bull doesn’t count
I saw some preview
Show is called Honey Boo-Boo
Dear God what the fuck
21 Sunday Oct 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit, Rants and Raves
inI don’t think I can ever show my face at a Woodbridge party ever again. If you meet a guy who’s treating his whiskey bottle like a water tap, don’t take consecutive shots of it. Bad things will swiftly follow, even if you’re not in the right mind to remember it all. So now I’m in the process of strapping a ball and chain to my ankle to prevent me from ever leaving city limits.
Ever have a texting match with your friend that no-one else will find funny? Of course you have. Here is the most recent text exchange between me and my roommate Gonad Ben. You see, at the moment of writing this post, my cheek is dry, itchy and red. Gonad Ben let me use his special ointment that he had to use when he got a tattoo.
Me: Hey ben, may i use your ointment again?
Ben: Yeah, did it help any?
Me: Seemed to, not ridiculously itchy anymore.
Ben: That’s good. Apply gereously.
Me:…Why can’t you use small words? pretentious ass.
Ben: Generously*
Me: Well now you’re not pretentious anymore, you just FUCKING SUCK AT TYPING!
Ben: I’m driving. FUCK YOU ASS
Ben: NO CREAM FOR YOU!
Me: NOW YOU’RE BEING A TERRIBLE DRIVER WHO DOESN’T KEEP HIS EYES ON THE ROAD!
Ben: Dying now.
Me: And i will use your cream, and probably shit on your bed too.
So much love.
Signed,
Mr. MoonGoat
17 Wednesday Oct 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit
in“It’s always cold in Siberia.”
Well, I’m not in Siberia, and I’m still cold, dammit! It’s not fun to be in the city when it’s getting colder, but then again, neither is staying in Warrenton. This Christmas I’m not gonna be surprised if I get a pair of snowshoes from my old lady.
Mother: Oooooooh! Look what Mr. MoonGoat got!!!!
Mr. MG:…tennis rackets?
Mom: No, they’re to help you walk through this blizzard outside!
Mr. MG: Yeah about that, when will this blizzard let up? I wanna get back within city limits before the big disco ball falls.
MamaSatan: IT WILL NEVER END. MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Since I haven’t been keeping up with the blog lately due to classwork, homework, housework, procrastination, or “no work, me sleep”, and Bioshock I will now give you the abridged version of the past month since I shaved my noggin.
Sept 9 – 15: My sister got arrested and is now serving a life sentence GOT MARRIED!!! What a lovely ceremony that was and gave me the opportunity to wear a nice suit, kick down doors, and talk in an English accent (Shaved head, gotta flaunt it.)
Sept 16 – 22: Robberies galore on campus. What is a pretty young girl like me supposed to do? Seriously, we need Batman or something. Last one happened on my block.
Sept 23 – 29: Invaded Europe. I didn’t work out as planned, otherwise you all would’ve seen some interesting news coverage that week.
Sept 30 – Oct 6: Paid my rent, briefly considered becoming a man-whore to help pay for college. Swiftly reconsidered when I witnessed a real one. That’s right, I’m calling you out, Professor!!!
Oct 7 – Oct 13: Went to a Wizards and Sluts Party on Saturday. There were many sluts, but all the wizards looked like they were preparing for the spa, which if that was the case, its the lady wearing a bustier under her white bathrobe that I felt bad for.
Oct 14 – Oct NOW!: I have two days off this week in which I’m plan to do fuck all and be very good at it as well.
So there you go. You’re all up to speed. Enjoy that fuzzy warm feeling in your heart right now, then quickly call an ambulance because you are about to pass out due to relapse.
Oh, and 9999chris? I should’ve shown you this earlier. The main two guys are essentially us, if I kept my hair and if you never got cooler.
Signed,
Mr. MoonGoat
07 Friday Sep 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit
inTags
awesome, celebrities, Domino Dub FM, entertainment, hair, Heisenberg, Jason Statham, MoonGoat, reinvention, The Transporter
So last Sunday I made a firm decision and shaved my head. I’ve NEVER done this before and for anyone who knew me personally, this was a huge shock because they all know that I would take a pair of scissors to my own eyes before I considered even trimming my do. Some said I look tougher, others said I pull off the shaved head look quite nicely, and a few said I look more phallic than ever and for those select few I was well within my right to express irony and call them a prick.
For reasons that are my own, I will not show a picture of my new do, which I shall now dub “The Heisenberg”. I’d rather retain anonymity throughout this blog stint of ours. I CAN tell you that I look like Jason Statham in any movie he’s ever starred in ever except Revolver. Actually, his do in that flick is what my hair used to look like, with a touch of Bill Murray from Ghostbusters mixed in just for kookiness.
Like I said in my last post, this is the time for reinvention. And shaving my head definitely feels like reinvention. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go outside and hook a car battery up to my nipple and tongue.
Signed,
Mr. MoonGoat
PS: Check out my friend’s new radio station/podcast/babe magnet Domino Dub FM. If you’re into dubstep, you just might like what you hear. I did.
18 Saturday Aug 2012
I won’t lie – I’m actually a little tipsy as I write this. A friend of mine invited me to a party. I figured it’d be the usual small-scale event with a handful of his friends. What I didn’t know was that this would be an official event for his newly-formed fraternity and that the place would be absolutely full of frat bros and their sorority counterparts. All but two people in attendance were complete strangers and I can’t say I that it was my crowd. A few times, I tried to find the host, but he was lost in a sea of uniformed fraternity brothers. With everyone in the party wearing:
1. A backwards polo hat
2. A polo short
3. Sperrys (seriously, don’t get me started on those damn things)
it was incredibly different to find him. The level of uniformity was staggering, especially considering there was no actual official uniform. I scanned the room quickly and I noticed a guy sitting at a table, grabbing some drunk girl’s ass……
FOR TEN MINUTES STRAIGHT. So yeah, he wasn’t exactly subtle with his flirting, but my friend and I got a solid laugh out of it.
For quite some time, I’d wondered what actual frat parties were like, as I had largely avoided them (I prefer smaller house parties with good friends of mine) and I must say I was very disappointed. Everything from the music to the choice of beer (Keystone Light) was a letdown. Trust me, as much as I like free drinks, if I leave a party after an hour and a half, you know it was lame.
On another (unrelated) note, I realized that on a previous post, the 100% Official Celebrity Crush Power Rankings, there was a massive oversight.
I realized as I was watching I Love You, Man that I somehow managed to forget about Rashida Jones.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I am, of course, far too lazy to go back and re-do the order.
17 Friday Aug 2012
Posted Pointless Bullshit, Rants and Raves
inTo help the reader through this pointless and tedious post, it is suggested that the following rant be read in the voice of Morgan Freeman. Here is a picture of him to help you get started.
Welcome back me, to the world of the internet. After being so deprived of the web for the past few days, being able to Google something is a real treat. But that isn’t what I am here to talk about today.
In a day or two I will be returning to college. And a day or two after that, I will be turning 21. Now just thinking those things feels odd to me. Especially sitting here in my Adventure Time t-shirt.
And that is the exact issue I am dealing with. I don’t feel 21, or like a college student. I certainly don’t act like one either. I’m wondering when maturity is going to kick in. Last night I went to my old elementary school playground (which is pretty awesome by the way) and I played a game of assassins with a group of friends. We dueled with Nerf swords and tried to kill each other off. This does not seem like appropriate adult behavior.
In just a few days I will be able to purchase alcohol. Not that I care or have to cash to do so, but it is the ability to do so that is shaking me up. I’m supposed to be a “mature and sensible” individual by now and no person close to me would ever use those words to describe me. Which I find worrisome.
But the bigger issue is that I don’t care. I know what I am supposed to be doing but I don’t really want to. I like how I act and will continue to do so for as long as I can. And that also worries me. (By now you should realize that I am not making any sense.) I worry that I don’t worry about the things that I should be worried about, because I don’t think I need to worry about them. (If you understood that sentence you get a gold star.)
I really don’t know why I am bothering anyone with this absolutely pointless bullshit, but we have a special category for it, so I figured I make use. Thanks for reading!
-Colonel Narwhal