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Since I have so much love to share and since there are so many beautiful women in the world and since I can’t fucking go to sleep right now, I will follow suit and post my Top 10 Celebrity Crushes. Let’s jump right into it, shall we?

10. Sophie Howard

British. And a glamour model. ‘Nuff said.

9: Jennifer Lawrence

Never saw The Hunger Games. I don’t see the appeal. I do see the appeal of Jennifer Lawrence though.

8: Olivia Wilde

If I ever try and walk up to Olivia Wilde, it had better be in slow motion, otherwise I’d make a fool of myself. A soundtrack would be nice too.

7: Anna Kendrick

She’s just plain damn adorable.

6: Mary Elizabeth Winstead

I’d fight 7 evil-ex boyfriends for her.

5: Jessica Biel

Ever read an article called “Dear Ryan Gosling”? (http://hellogiggles.com/dear-ryan-gosling) It’s a letter from a comedienne basically issuing a cease and desist for Ryan Gosling to “stop being Ryan Gosling”. I’m gonna write a follow-up called “God dammit, Jessica Biel”.

 4: Kate Upton

…Kate Upton is a goddess and would never talk to me in a million years. My luck sucks.

3: Amber Heard

Try and find a bad picture of Amber Heard online. Go ahead, try.

2: Anne Hathaway

Not even Batman can resist her. Could you? The answer is no, you cannot.

And my top celebrity crush?

.

.

.

Say whatever you will, but Charlize Theron is one beautiful woman. Hollywood’s gonna tell me with a straight face that Kristen Stewart was supposed to be the “fairest one of all” in that movie? Uh-uh.

So there you have it.

Signed,

Mr. MoonGoat

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