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I lieu of my top ten female celebrities that I would like to “get with,” I’d rather list some male celebrities I would like to have a beer with. And then shift the conversation abruptly to Kingdom Hearts.

When asked which male celebrities I would like to have a drink with, there is usually a limit of 5 people I am allowed to pick, so I will not make my list longer than that. So without further ado, I present to you:

Colonel Narwhal’s 5 Celebrities he Would like to Have a Beer With

(This list is presented in no particular order.)

Simon Pegg

He’s British, he’s funny, and he is the star and co-writer of my favorite trilogy of all time: The Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy. Also I think we may be able to carry on an actual conversation. Talk about Star Wars or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5W8EBHNsLc

(In case you haven’t seen this.)

Jason Segel

Why? Because he is there. All 6 feet and 4 inches of him. This man is funny, talented, and quite under-appreciated. I just want to be able to look up at him and tell him he is one talented motherfucker. He wrote and starred in both The Muppets and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And I can’t leave out his hilarious performance in the one sitcom that I like on television. Speaking of How I Met Your Mother….

Neil Patrick Harris

As clearly evident from the photo above, this man is a magician along with being one of the most multi-talented actors out there. He sings, he dances, and he knows how to wear a suit. But more importantly, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog just wouldn’t be the same without him. I want to give this man a hug, as long as he is ok with it. Getting a beer with him seems like a step in the right direction.

Jeremy Renner

Yes, he could probably kill me in one punch if I said something stupid (which I probably would) but then my tombstone would read “Killed by Jeremy Renner. You wish your death was as cool.” I don’t know much about this man outside of the movies I have seen him in, but I would love to find out. He is just so excellent at what he does.

Peter Dinklage

I hardly feel like I need to explain this one at all. Peter Dinklage is the reason I started to watch Game of Thrones. No one recommended it to me, and I knew nothing about it. I read in a magazine that Peter Dinklage plays a dwarf (me thinking the Lord of the Rings kind) and I watched the show as soon as possible. I just love watching this man perform, ever since he made me cry from seeing Lassie back in 2005. I just want to be able to sit down next to him and stifle back bursts of excited giggling.

ABRUPT CHANGE IN TOPIC

This year marks the tenth anniversary of Kingdom Hearts. For those of you who don’t know what that is, feel free to read on and judge me for being obsessed with a children’s game.

  Happy Birthday!

To be fair, the original game was released when I was eleven, and I liked it so much that I have been following it ever since. the game combines Disney characters and Squaresoft….everything else. With all of the sequels, prequels, side-stories, and re-works that this series has undergone, the plot has become almost impossible to follow. I will spare you all the tedium of trying to explain it.

The important thing is that the…seventh?….yeah seventh game was just released yesterday.

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance is the last game before the long awaited, much anticipated Kingdom Hearts III, which will be the eighth game in the series (confusing, I know). I am currently playing through the game right now, and even with the series’ love of crappy camera controls, the game is flowing along quite nicely. It introduces a new novelty to the series, with a little nintendog-like feature. But instead of dogs, you create and pet monsters that you use to fight alongside you. I’ll get back to you all when I either finish the game, or get the hang of all the new features.

-Colonel Narwhal

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