“It’s always cold in Siberia.”

Well, I’m not in Siberia, and I’m still cold, dammit! It’s not fun to be in the city when it’s getting colder, but then again, neither is staying in Warrenton. This Christmas I’m not gonna be surprised if I get a pair of snowshoes from my old lady.

Mother: Oooooooh! Look what Mr. MoonGoat got!!!!

Mr. MG:…tennis rackets?

Mom: No, they’re to help you walk through this blizzard outside!

Mr. MG: Yeah about that, when will this blizzard let up? I wanna get back within city limits before the big disco ball falls.

MamaSatan: IT WILL NEVER END. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Since I haven’t been keeping up with the blog lately due to classwork, homework, housework, procrastination, or “no work, me sleep”, and Bioshock I will now give you the abridged version of the past month since I shaved my noggin.

Sept 9 – 15: My sisterĀ got arrested and is now serving a life sentence GOT MARRIED!!! What a lovely ceremony that was and gave me the opportunity to wear a nice suit, kick down doors, and talk in an English accent (Shaved head, gotta flaunt it.)

Sept 16 – 22: Robberies galore on campus. What is a pretty young girl like me supposed to do? Seriously, we need Batman or something. Last one happened on my block.

Sept 23 – 29: Invaded Europe. I didn’t work out as planned, otherwise you all would’ve seen some interesting news coverage that week.

Sept 30 – Oct 6: Paid my rent, briefly considered becoming a man-whore to help pay for college. Swiftly reconsidered when I witnessed a real one. That’s right, I’m calling you out, Professor!!!

Oct 7 – Oct 13: Went to a Wizards and Sluts Party on Saturday. There were many sluts, but all the wizards looked like they were preparing for the spa, which if that was the case, its the lady wearing a bustier under her white bathrobe that I felt bad for.

Oct 14 – Oct NOW!: I have two days off this week in which I’m plan to do fuck all and be very good at it as well.

So there you go. You’re all up to speed. Enjoy that fuzzy warm feeling in your heart right now, then quickly call an ambulance because you are about to pass out due to relapse.

Oh, and 9999chris? I should’ve shown you this earlier. The main two guys are essentially us, if I kept my hair and if you never got cooler.

Signed,

Mr. MoonGoat

 

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