Yes, it is I…Colonel Narwhal. I haven’t posted anything in a while because I have been off doing adult things like learning and sleeping. Now I find myself with the free time necessary to post something here. I’ve had free time before, but it’s hard to justify posting on a blog when you have friends nearby to shoot the breeze with.

OK, first part of my little rant will be on the newest Bethesda game.

I have been looking forward to this game for quite sometime, though not as eagerly as I am awaiting The Last of Us. Now THAT looks splendiforous.

I started playing Dishonored on Thursday, and, to my dismay, beat it Saturday night. I think I logged a good 8 or 9 hours into the game, but for $60 that is not worth my money. I put the game on the hardest difficulty when I breezed through the intro section without harming a single guard (if you can count choking them out to be not harmful). I had started on Hard, and bumped it up to Very Hard, which the game promised to be a rigorous challenge. Lies. I walked through the rest of the game with ease without ever killing a single soul. While some of the more challenging sections did arise when I needed to figure out a nonlethal way of disposing of my target I found that when in doubt, shoot a sleep dart.

The game is only 9 measly missions long, and on of those missions is half as long as the 2nd shortest mission. It’s sad really. The game plays marvelously, and besides for the crippling easiness, it is quite fun. There are so many different ways to approach a mission that many have argued that the game is meant for multiple playthroughs, which I agree with. But the plot is so predictable, and the missions are so short, that it hardly makes up for its failing in the length department.

Final review 3/5 stars. The game is a lot of fun, but it is too easy and way too short.


I titled this post “A quick rant” but that’s going to turn out to be false. I still need to talk about The Last of Us.

This game makes my mouth water and my panties wet (or at least it would if I were a woman), yet every single person I talk to about it just shrugs and starts talking about Halo 4 or Dishonored or Assassin’s Creed 3. It confounds me as to how they are not more excited. If this game was a dog, it would be a purebred Diamond shitter (instead of poop…it shits diamonds. rather self-explanatory). The game is being made by Naughty Dog, who, in my humble opinion, has yet to make a game that isn’t awesome. The Crash Bandicoot series (before it changed hands) the Jak and Daxter series, and Uncharted. Naughty Dog knows how to make games, and this one is no exception.

Yes yes, the survival zombie end of the world thing has been done before, but not to the detail and mastery as what was showcased in the trailer. The ammo is scarce, the fighting is realistic, the environment is believable, the  everything is awesome.

I need to calm down. I’ll try to post some more later.

-Colonel Narwhal.